There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
