someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
