i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
