I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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