Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
