remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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