I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
