You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
