In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
