i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
