Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
