But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
