you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
