i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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