So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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