honey bunches of taint.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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