Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
