when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
