Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
