If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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