what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
