margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
