A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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