i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
