nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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