He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
