I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
