i barfeds in our rink
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
