Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
