I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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