No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
