I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're a waste of cheezeits
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
