just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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