he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize