I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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