i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just forgot I was standing up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
