There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
