sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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