If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize