i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
