i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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