i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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