once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
