Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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