He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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