so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she pinky promised me she was 18
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize