Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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