did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
