i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
