there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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