Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
