i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
