I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
